Cry me a river

  Hello my little naval orange sized baby. I got to hear your heart beating again today. The sweet deal I have going with our obgyn means I get to pop in anytime I'm feeling anxious and have a quick listen to your glorious heartbeat! Since I was having more spotting this morning it seemed like a good idea. My blood pressure said so too, the nurse said it was a lovely 140 over 90. I think they need to start taking my blood pressure AFTER I hear your heart beat when I've calmed down a bit. It's not usually high, it's usually on the low side. Anyways, you sound good kid! Keep up the good work!

  I went to the store to grab a few things after leaving the doctors office. I got distracted by the Halloween candy and obsessed over all of the peanut/chocolate combos for a good 10 minutes. I'm avoiding eating peanuts while pregnant since I'm pretty sure I had a slight allergy to them when I was pregnant with your sister, so I grabbed some junior mints instead. The Christmas lights display is already set up in the store and I found myself starring at the lights and crying a lil bit. Not unusual to be crying these days. I cry when I sit down to eat dinner, looking at your Dad, talking about our dog Bella, stupid commercials, listening to any kind of music and on most of all when I think of you. I actually had a happy thought while looking at those Christmas lights, how this would be the 1st Christmas in about 6 years that your Dad & I would have a dare I say a very MERRY Christmas! The year we got married was the last really happy holiday season we had. My Grandma Ellie died the following December and every year after that we spent thinking about how much we wanted to be pregnant and have a baby of our own to celebrate the holiday with. Trying to get pregnant year after year with no luck at all will suck the joy right out of any festive family event. 2010 being the most miserable holiday season imaginable, 2011 wasn't much better as we struggled to get pregnant again and dealt with some ongoing family troubles. But here we are approaching the holiday season of 2012 with so much hope and love in our hearts that it's enough to make me ball my bloody eyes out! As my Grandma Ellie would say anytime someone cried or got over emotional "Oh, cry me a river!" Or "Cut the s#i*"...either/or haha. She was a hot ticket with the mouth of a trucker. Did I tell you that the 1st due date for you is actually Grandma Ellie's birthday? Yeah April 7th, what a co-ink-i-dink! I'm pretty sure we were supposed to take that as a sign that she is watching over you verrrry closely. It sort of makes me wonder if you will be anywhere near as spunky as she was. Here is the picture I'm painting of you in my head based on the dreams I've had, your future astrological sign and all of the crazy adventures you've had in my womb thus far. A light haired little girl (or boy who knows!) who isn't afraid of anything, including speaking her/his mind. You'll have a taste for adventure (with a nickname of Danger who wouldn't?) and a high energy level with the infamous Mattson shaky leg syndrome (you'll notice this anytime you see your Dad or Grandpa Rod sitting still). You'll have a melodious singing voice and will be able to sing "Cry me a river" and other standards with some serious soul. Am I close? Time will tell! Either way kiddo, I love ya XoXo ~Mamasita